Embarrassment at a National level

For this situation, I'm adapting a post modern style of thinking. Everybody has his/her own opinion. Nobody is free from criticism. Sedangkan great philosophers and leaders pon dapat macam2 criticism, inikan pulak si kerdil ini.

Before that I was criticizing Mr F, pengerusi persatuan XXX for being blur in is correspondence with CNN. I checked his background and found out that he was very well educated from University in the UK. Why he did not answer the questions from the TV newscaster properly. He keeps reading the text... In other words, he fumbled.

Pandai sangat kata dekat orang, last2 sekali kene dekat diri sendiri. I've embarrassed myself in National television For all of you who watched Berita astro Awani. Especially when they mentioned that I'm a "Pelajar Kedoktoran di Amsterdam" Yes that was me and I've made a mistake. My mistake was, I didn't listen to the questions properly. I dont know why... My best bet is maybe because I am nervous. Or maybe because it was really in the morning and I was blur. Well korang nak kutuk keee nak kata apa-apa I accept it with open arms. I deserved it. I think its a learning process...Coz i've never been interviewed in live TV before.

Lesson learned(The hard way)..... Prepare yourself before an interview. Be sure of the questions that the TV casters ask you before hand although the read the question really fast and you cant catch up with the question.

Another lesson... Dont be disappointed by people's criticism and judgement about you, especially in national television hahaha. What to do? dah lepas dah... just lough about it lah. Anyway i'm learning that Phd has its hurdle. Kalau nak ikut criticism orang lain tentang penulisan dan pemikiran aku mmg very frustrating.... Kekadang rasa macam diri nie bodoh dan useless

I pray to Allah that he gives me knowledge superiority and so that I can contribute alot in Islam and to the Academic world .

Hehe kalau nak pikir balik... eeee maluuuuu malunyaa aduuh tensen

Flying into the unknown

I just found out that I only have 2 decent shirts for a conference. Off to Zara laaa apa lagi?. Thus I bought a whole new wardobe complete with collard T-Shirt and shirts. A lil bit body hugging but who cares... Thats why I work out...(With a lil bit of cheese cake on the side).

And Presto! My bag is packed complete with matching suits... Nie nak gi conference keee fashion show nieh?

Before that I'm messaged my bro amir that I was gonna crash at his joint...

Amir said, lets bukak posa at Masjid MArocco and pekena Hariraa and tajiyn.. So we went... and buy it was a hefty bukak posa. The Harira was great, ada dengan roti arab and roti canai. Met new friends, takleh cakap English. But boleh cakap dutch and Arabish sahaja. So, there I was again speaking broken Dutch and arabic... I guess "Darabic is my third language" A real creole made up by De Heer Ziad.

I've never met such a nice person like Amir. He treats me like his own bro. Kalau Ziad mai mesti dia masak. Alot of surprises bila Ziad mai. He's the kind of person that honours friendship. I learn from honoring friendhip from him.

He gave me his keys and ask me to leave it in his kast so that i have ample time to rest for my flight to Sweden

I was expecting for a big ass airplane and it turned out that it was a small plane. But it was still a jet plane so, I guess its better than kipas plane. thankfully it was not very bumpy and not that tiring although puasa.

There I was all alone transit semua.. I guess i'm used to it... I have my own time and in a survival mode. Alwiz check and raba2 to check wether my pasport is there or not. And raba2 my back pocket for my keys although I'm not using it. I guess it has became a habit.

Well, from the sky, it seems that there's alot of lakes in Sweden and lots of trees. Most of the trees are sprucy and its all green. Sampai airport than I observe the people. They are not that tall... At least shorter than dutch.

Alhamdulillah my serunding lepass!!! takde orang check passport pon. I guess europe is very intergrated and they trust each other although Sweden uses their own currency. Keluaq2 je pagaq ada booth European Regional Sciences Congress (ERSA ) with two hot blonde naturally bleached hair waiting for deligates. Yang bestnya aku langsung tak nampak those blondes, yet alone the booth. Keluaq2 ja pagaq kalut dok cari bas nak gi Jonkoping. After dekat sejam aaa gi balik kat pagaq, baru nampak booth.

Anyway, my friends were right. Among blonds, Swedish chicks are smoking hot. Clear blue eyes, blonde hair and petite. They almost made dutch girls look like giants. Tp bau hamis sikit, I guess they have worked alot for the congress. It is a very significant congress, dengan 50 year anniversary nya etc......... And yess pahala puasa bertaburan di Sweden....

Purposely datang sehari awal so that I can take my own time. Explored the city...... I noticed that it is very safe. I mean, tak rasa takut pon coz ppl there, I guess terlalu maju and they dont need to disturb people. Except for weekend of course... but still.... harmless people...

I dunno... I'm not really what you call religious.... I dont really join Usrah and top five dalam masjid. But I guess Allah selalu tolong. Time nak check in hotel, minah yang jaga hotel tu sikiiit lagi nak blah. Kalau tak, mana laaa aku nak tido n sahur malam tuu...

Bilik pon selesa sangat, although toilet share. Tp tak penah pon nak kene tunggu orang.

The view of lake vatern pon cantik, so breathtaking.... Dekat tepi2 jalan ada wild flowers.

Petang tu registration.....

So register laaa aku sorang2... Everybody seems to know everybody... Jumpa2 terus jabat tangan... berpeluk pon ada... Semua stok tua2... I guess most of them dah ada Phd and some of them dah professor.

There I was wandering alone in the sea of seasoned academicians. Berenang punya berenang, Jumpa jugak orang muda, tp still tua lagi pada aku... Budak Finland... So budak Finland nie pon intro aku ngan Finnish yang lain. Pastu pelan-pelan jumpa budak mexico, Korea, Venezuela, spain.. still they are older than me.... Ada aaa budak Philippine rasanya muda lagi drp aku.. tp sombong.. maklum laa duduk Germany... bAu tengit jugak..

And then it was my turn to present. Gabra nie Allah sahaja yang tau.. But as the time is near, makin kurang rasa gabra. Seblom tu call mama dulu, and she knows my schedule . Prof pon nak turut serta dalam audience. Prof was very supportive despite his busy schedule. Alhamdulillah the presentation according to the audience was ok (great). Lots and lots of questions raised by the delegates

Among the questions yang participanta tanya... lawak jugak..

Can we not pay Zakat every year and pay it in a lump sum with interest?

How about the influence of peer preasure as one of the factors why people pay zakat?

ARE Malaysians forced to pay Zakat?

Posiblity of obtaining panel spatial data

and many more....

Most of these questions, I answer to them by explaining the concept of "salvic merit" better known to us by Dosa and pahala. And this is to utilize this belief among Malaysian citizens to get them to help the government in terms of welfare.

They are very interested in the potential of Zakat in Regional economics research particularly in regional welfare.Because most EU countries are welfare countries.So, the welfare mmg mcm totally public funded.

BTW,

In that conference I get to rub shoulders with great professors from great universities. My professor pon dok kenen2 potential of Zakat research in regional economics. Also, I gained lots of contacts from scientist all around europe.

Sempat berbuka puasa semeja ngan Masahi Fujita, a living legend in Spatial econometric... Sempat bergambaq dengan Nobel prize winner for economics. Paul krugman. and banyak lagi lah.

Alhamdulillah, dapat merasa suasana ala2 cocktail party. Selalunya tengok dalam movie jaa tp nie dapat merasa first hand. Yang bestnya drinks walaupun ada alcohol, ada variety yang without alcohol. Sambil2 dok makan tu ada lagu2 Jazz. Mcm cerita Frasier la pulak.

Pastu malam tu plak ada formal dinner... Nie bukan sebarang dinner tau! yang jantan abis2 kurang nak kena pakai Kot semua... Yang pompuan sorry lah...mmg menjolok mata pakaian depa... Nampak mcm anak patung pon ada... mmg kureng banyaklah pahala posa.

Since duduk dengan living lagends of New trade theory, sempat aku bertanya.... Professor, what do you think of a single asian currency???

Prof: Actually I've conducted a meeting amongst policy makers and politicians from 16 Asian countries. Unfortunately, the outcome is quite pessimistic especially when China disagrees(ayat ini telah diubah) coz org jepun nie BI kureng.... Furthermore, in terms of economy, Asian countries are already integrated, so no need for single currency. Kalau single currency, tgk apa yang jadi kat europe dengan kes greece.

PAstu aku tanya lagi soklan:

This time, kindof a personal question:

How do you balance between your magnificent work and your family?

Dia terus peluk bini dia.....

Prof: My WIFE!! Number one!! hahaha

KAmi semua gelak... lawak jugak prof nie

Yang bestnya kalau dia tak tau, dia cakap tak tau.... Dia tak buat kapla.... Kekadang kami tanya.. What do you think of the collaboration of Physics and Economics?

Pastu dia Jawab: I dont know that coz i'm a mathmatician! Ask Kuuruugman(nobel prize lauriette for econs 2008)

Haha lawak-lawak... At least for me laa...

Ada jugak soklan yang dia refuse to jawab...Kami tau dia dulu penah mengajar kat Upenn(Ivy league university)

Kami tanya dia... Why did you leave Upenn and decide to be a prof in Kyoto instead

Prof: i dont want to answer that, it was a bad memory...

Best sembang ngan oraang intelek nie.. especially orang yang terkenal.....

Kesian kat prof aku, dipinggirkan oleh student yang kacang lupakan kulit hahaha... Tp dia sikit pon tak jeles... Infact, dia encourage... Dia cakap, since you are siting near him... talk to him! Actually prof aku nie tak interfram mcm aku... Low profile, tp publish berkajang...

After the dinner is the JOGET LAMBAK time....

You can be surprised time conference, prof2 tua nie nampak mcm skemaaa je... Tp time joget pergghhh menari2 .... Ziad? ingat pasal bulan posa jeee kalau tak harus.... hahaha But it was aa great experience... Awek-- toksah dok kira laa Masyaallah tambah pulak Ziad jaa di kalangan orang2 muda, yg jadi tukang arrange student comel2.... Good thing bolan posa...

Next day, bangun awai... blah gi Gotheborg... Typical european city... surprisingly ramai Muslim... Nice view... naik ferriswheel with breathtaking view. Tgk banggunan lama2 berhala besaq...typical european city... Jalan mcm orang tak posa tuh... tp kekadang rasa gak peluh2 sejuk..... rest sat... pastu jalan balik.

Conclusion about conference....

BEST giler!!!! nak pi lagi! nak pi lagi! Next year Barcalona--- target! target!

Conclusion about Sweden

Dari segi view, cantik aaa tp holland n germany pon cantik... Banggunan lebih kurang germany... But the Chicks..... I think the only reason that I wanna go and visit Sweden again is because of the chicks mmg exceptionally beautiful. Tak tinggi sangat mcm dutch n german.... Rambut blond tahap bleach ... mata biru jernih(like they are staring into your soul)...kulit mcm porcelain...

There's a saying ... Swedish women makes British women look unattractive.... I agree with that...

Takde time nak menulis blog

Update, next week puasa kat Jonkoping Sweden. Mudah mudahan Allah bagi pertolongan. Now tgh wat powerpoint presentation. So, entry kali nie malas nak tulis. Pagi, petang siang malam dok mengadap data ngan paper ja. To make it up, here's a crazy video

Zomer

GRO-AMS-HKG-KUL-AOR Begitulah perjalan aku utk sampai ke Loq Stuck... Giler lama, pasnieh tamau transit dah lah... Sampai2 ja, terus pekena nasik Ali peeerghh bantai btoi! Besok tu terus demam 3 hari + Jetlag. So three days lost!..

Managed to spent quality time with parents n tok. Tok walaupun nyanyuk tp Ziad mesti ingat. She's aware that I came from holland, brought her chocolate n cheese n berries so happy lah my grandma. I'm sorry kawan2 balik tak habaq coz mmg sekejaaaaaap sangat just for my sis's wedding. Balik nie pon cuma nak attend wedding, tolong mama n papa, catchup ngan family n work so, i'm sorry kalau tak habaq.

Other than that, work, discussion with USM counterparts and jumpa ngan dear dekan. Oh yeah ..... went out with a "potential".. adik dah kawin abang dok bercelaru lagi haha! I dun expect much, coz I'm in holland sooo it doesnt hurt to keep trying Malaysian chicks.

The kenduri was alhamdulillah, coz its just Mama, papa jee yg arrange, Ziad tlg sket2 je. Thanks to family members, Kahriah Tg Bendahara, org surau yg organise meetings on how to help us yg tulang 4 kerat nie literally. Neighbours yang tolong dengan penuh ikhlas. Siap ada bagi pinjam rumah lagi utk setup bunga teloq. The best thing is they are really HAPPY to help!! Alhamdulillah Allah bukak hati depa.

Time Kenduri alhamdulillah smooth. Although aku miss miss sister's procession... aduuuh hampeh... my parents pon.. We were busy greeting tetamu. Kami tak mau nnt2 kot tak greet tetamu.

Its good to have a new member of the family. Instantly rasa mcm he's a part of us. Ada laa orang yg dekat utk tengok2kan mama n papa. Ziad duduk jauh

2 soalan orang selalu tanya aku.... berbuih mulut nak jawab.... Dekat sana mengaji apa? bila abang punya turn??

Soklan satu pon payah aku nak jawab hehe aku cakap Spatial science depa semua clueless. So aku cakap ekomomi je lah senang... semua orang tau

Soklan2 hurmm cakap jodoh tak sampai lagi nnt2 lah abis Phd ... full stop

Tp actually banyak terbuku

I've learned many things abt relationships and especially the BAD examples.... The bad examples helps me to choose better( I think). Although I kinda forgive the one who gave bad examples but I dare not look back. Any reconciliation is not acceptable in under any circumstances. It's like if i look back, I feel like i'm in a party but stuck with a ugly wierd chick. You feel sorry for ignoring her but you wanna avoid. Anyway it really happened once when I was in a party haha.

Anyway kesian dekat sahabat lama aku, had a bad experience with a BAD example.... I felt like I wanna go to him and slap him so that he wakes up. No use sulking to a person who doesn't care for you. Takyah lah nak rasa down..... Dont be stupid... What we do is we wake up n dont look back. But he's only human. me too... One day he's gonna look at this situation n lough...

AOR-KUL-HKG-AMS-GRO

Flight delay---train tah pape time tu lah nak jahanam kene petir pon-- Dah la ada discussion petang tu. Anyway, my lifestyle pon nak ikut prof dah. Dalam plane pon wat keje. Pastu sampai2 je umah, tauk bag n trus gi discussion dengan penuh blur. Balik terus meghelluh(tido).

Pas discussion of course banyak keje nak wat... Aku terpaksa rahsiakan kepulangan aku di bumi belanda nie coz nnt ada jaaa jebon2 nak ajak merayau... Memula Fra msg... aku diaaam ja depa mcm boleh sense jaa kedatangan aku... Pastu si claudio plak.... aduh, kesian kat depa... I guess depa tu mmg rindu kat aku.... Akhirnya terbongkar... kat library... Depa tu ajak mai rumah n masak lagi kat aku... punya laa baik punya kawan2. Depa tu pi beli daging halal n masak kari kat aku hehe what great friends I have... mcm adik beradik.

I guess all this while kita mesti ingat omputeh sombong kan??? I guess that only applies to the British.... Orang eropah lain coool ja.... especially italian n portuguese mmg senang masuk aaa... Lithuanian n french pilih bulu gak tp depa sempoi jaa ngan aku.

Oh yeah Groningen time Summer LENGGANG! Takpa baguih boleh aa aku concentrate utk beribadat... haha... Relek jee gi office pakai t shirt ngan seluaq pendek(Contradicticting statements)...

Dui dui

Murder

Heike came to my office personally on behalf of the faculty to invite me for our department dinner. Hurmmhh on that same day is the day that I move to a new apartment. Lots of things to be done. Imean lots n lots!. But since they invited me personally, its very hard to decline.



FYI it was worth it. You know our typical Malaysia dinner, with Malaysian food or if it is a western dinner(in Malaysia) with european food ( with alot of oriental touch). And while you're having dinner, there's some sort of cultural show with dancers dancing Zapin or at least a guy playing Piano. Sounds fancy huh! But NO! .



In the netherlands, the dutch does it in a different way. Veeery unique. It started with a chic soire, you know, people standing and talk while drinking mende haram. It started like that. And then the waiters invited us into a hall with dinner tables. BTW it was really cosy and fancy sort of setting in an old reinassance sort of building. Well, we were seated and there were unfamilliar faces sitting among us and they talk to us and make jokes.



I genuinly thaught that they were waiters flirting around or some PR people trying to promote their restaurants. I soon found out that they were actors. The scene is like this. Instead of us watching some sort of theathre or an act on a stage, the scene was among us. We can interact with the actors while they are acting and they will ask us to solve their problem. It was an act of a MURDER scene. What is even unique, some of us even were given scripts to read act with us.



Since it is a Murder sort of Drama, we were given pictures and clues to help them solve . There were sounds of guns shooting and people screaming while we were having dinner. Devided into groups, we were assigned to identify who is the murderer according to the clues given and their motives. Its sort of something that I need to get used to because we had to use our brains to figure it out. I even saw my groupmates, prof ed and Prof Piet jotted notes and looking at the clues. This really give an impression that even during leisure times, the dutch people like to think. Aku, mcm malas dah, tp depa mcm eager nak tau who's the murderer and what was the motive behind it



Anyway, about the dinner itself, it was decent. You know, in fancy restaurants , the portion is small but the price is high... heheh. But it was nice, takde "kerbau pendek" but I had sushi for appetiser and pasta with noorze salmon for main course. The desert was of course ice cream with chocolate sauce. The funny thing about the desert was, there were only 2 choices, ice cream and fruit smoothie. Thank god I did not order the smoothie coz it doesnt look nice coz the smoothie was just blended fruit with ice which looked yuckh!! but the ice cream looked lekker lekker and tasted good also. I could see the faces of regret from my other collegues who ordered the smoothie hehehe



It was a great experience... Advice to dear readers, if you have the money, or your parents has money, come to study in holland. Altough the subjects are the same but the experience is totally different. Be mindful of dugaan2 Syaitan though . I've studied in Australia, nothing to be compared to holland, groningen especially... Sounds Poyo but its what I think.



Dag

Akhir Zaman

Alhamdulillah, my regression results seems to be according to my hypothesis. Thanks for my dear Prof for his suggestions. Jonkoping conference pon dah register dah..... Credit card papa pon dah guna dah utk booking hotel. Hopefully before kenduri Nawal, boleh la submit paper tu.

N dah discuss ngan Justin regarding my intro and conceptual model. Its a rather broad discussion. But I did scope it down to some of the details. Furthermore, he suggested me further reading. Among other things that we've discussed which is very interesting is neo liberalism and he scoped it down to thatcherism and reaganism. It all happened during the reign of MArgeret Thatcher and Ronald reagen regardingthe concept of Free market. The way justin wanted me to relate it to religion specificallt Islam is something to think about. Memang menarik, aku mmg suka baca pasal neo conservatism. So, my argument is this... neo conservative notion of economy is of course for all the material purposes is not all accurate. Despite all the material goal people still have the conscience for salvation. Of course, if we are againts that, thatcherists will acuse us of having Marxist ideology. Yet again, Religion is the opiate of all masses :) huh pening tp seronok.

A horrid day to insult our loved one

One of the first thing we hear since our birth is his name. Instead of our parents’ name, we hear his name first. We were nurtured to love him and respect him. He is our model of perfection. How would you feel if your parents were insulted? Yet alone Him. How would you feel if stupid ignorant idealist freaks depicted the picture or drawings of your parents for the world to see in a very humiliating way.

Who’s fault is it?. I always believe that Stupid disrespectful idealist freaks will always be stupid disrespectful idealist freaks. The fault is on us! And our Government!.

Why are we still buying their products? Of course things like computers, books I mean the things that we can’t live without we can rule it out BUT the petty things which have lots of alternatives like clothes, shoes and fast-food. We need to show to the world that we mean business through our consumer power. We are the 2^nd largest population in the world cant we show the “real” compassion towards our loved one? . Participating in mass protest doesn’t really work, it will just show the world that we are barbaric trouble makers.

How about government who claims to love “Him”. Why don’t you expel the diplomats?. Why are the governments still trading oil to these countries?. Clearly, greed can compromise the insult to our loved one.